A not-so-relaxing leave

Usually when people take leave, it's to relax. Enjoy time away from work, no deadlines or paperwork. Time to just sit back and rest. I started leave a week ago (last Tuesday) and it hasn't been so relaxing.

Dan mentioned that for his birthday, I surprised him with a positive pregnancy test. I can't tell you how excited and nervous the both of us are. We've waited so long for the perfect time to start trying. It could've been earlier if it weren't for the TDYs and deployment that took Dan away. Gotta love the military. :p Even though I already have Genevieve, this pregnancy is already proving to be so different from when I was carrying her. The nausea has definitely hit me and I don't think I've had many mornings without morning sickness. I'm trying to take it easy and relax, but most days I'm dizzy, nauseous, or fatigued-or all three.

The main priority during this leave to to study since my promotion test for E-6 is in a couple weeks. On the enlisted side for the AF, you have to test to make rank after you put on E-4. This year will be my second time testing for E-6, and I am hoping that I make it. :)

I have spent a couple days hanging out with my sister, Flo, last week. True, I should be spending ever day and every waking moment studying, but hey, being on leave I can have some free time. Last week Genevieve was off after the three day weekend because of the district's furlough days. Thursday, the three of us went to see Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief, had lunch and walked around the mall. Friday, Flo came over and we helped her with bridesmaids cards.

This week hasn't been so fun. Seems like my 8th week has been the worse so far with constant headaches and the fatigue kicking in really hard. I can deal with fatigue, I have no problems sleeping more, but I would just like the morning sickness to go away. :(


I can't wait until the next time I take leave. It will be the same time Dan takes leave, and we'll both get a chance to really relax.

Having a baby!

For my birthday, my wife surprised me with telling me that she is pregnant. This will be a crazy experience for us, especially me. I have been around for my step daughter since she was around 2 years old, she is almost 6 now. I think I got the father thing down. I wake up early to get her dressed for school, and the weekend mornings are spent getting her breakfast and me slowly waking up for a few hours. I like to cook and I feel I am damn good at it too. It will be crazy to watch my wife through this pregnancy. It is something I have looked forward to for awhile now. I gotta read up on things like what is happening in her belly, and how to care for a baby. Its a lot, not overwhelming yet but I know that soon it will be. I am excited, but not worried at all. My wife will be the saving grace for me because she has already been through this previously and I'm sure I can ask her all the questions I have. So far estimated due date is beginning of October.. I need everyone to pray for a boy... please..... pretty please..

I live with the female Ace of Cakes!!!!!!

So me and my wife are avid fans of the Food Network. We watch every show on there and get ideas for new foods we want to try to cook and of course eat. My wife makes some amazing cakes, my favorite being red velvet and German chocolate. With watching Ace of Cakes and ultimate cake challenge a lot, she decided to try making fondant. She did an excellent job and I'm sure she will get plenty of practice and make some awesome competition like cakes soon.

Although I am a hardcore fan of flavor over presentation, it was very good. But personally, I think a good cream cheese frosting takes the cake.... funny huh?

So today was a decent day, I slept in, made some pulled pork that took 12 hours to cook (added a little vinegar for a Carolina BBQ style flavor), and went to Costco and bought the wife an orchid. It's her favorite flower.


Now I am just sitting around watching TV and drinking some wine that I thought had to be amazing. I never knew Newman's Own made wine. I should have figured though, that company has made almost everything. Gonna go for some whiskey and coke next... laterz

His face cracks me up on all the products... just makes you want to buy them.... If you haven't had the Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette, you need too.

I need a bigger plate.

I am the type of person that needs to be busy at work. I do have those days when I would like to just make a mindless task last all day, but I like to remain active at work. Sometimes I think I've got too much initiative at times and a sometimes dangerous work ethic. There are times when I feel that if it was allowed, I would probably install the programs I use at work on my home computer just so I could attempt to get ahead. What?!

On top of my work, I like to get involved. Fundraisers, community service, drives, etc. Dan and I love feeling like we made a difference for the better. We appreciate the military for making it sort of a mandatory requirement that all members must be involved in some volunteer activity no matter how small or large. I just wish more people would get into volunteering because they want to, not because they need to fill a block for their next performance report. I remember doing some volunteer stuff in high school just because it was also a way to hang out with friends. Volunteering can occupy a lot of off time that could be spent at home with family or doing school work.

It's only the first day of the second month of 2010 and I feel as if I've got too much on my plate. Am I in over my head? I'm still learning about my role in my shop and on top of work, I'm trying my best to make sure I look out for my people and take care of them. I also need to take care of me and my career at the same time. Shit, that reminds me that I need to drop off my reenlistment paperwork this week.

This semester, I'm taking two online courses. After these classes are complete, I'll have 2 classes left to obtain my Associate's with the CCAF. Next month, I have my promotion test to study for. Wtf? I know so many SNCOs have advised that I not take any school around testing time, but damn... testing cycle for the next rank is Feb-Mar and a semester at the community college in the area is from Jan through May. I may have shot myself in the foot this time around (which will be my second time testing for the next rank), but I really want to knock out my Associate's and my goal is to finish this year.

I need to find the balance between the assignments I need to knock out and work so that I can just focus on studying for my promotion test. That on top of preparing for a big inspection at work, I feel like I bit off more than I can chew for this quarter. Oh, the inspection is during the week I test next month, did I mention that? Oh crap, and I also need to start thinking about what to do for our daughters 6th birthday. Damnit. The first two weeks of March are so hectic and we just started February.

Anyone have any aspirin? The headache I started out with just grew larger after I read over this post.

Escaping the reality that is 36-2903

Whenever.... I mean whenever I am on leave, I do my best to look unlike a member of the military. It helps me relax knowing I don't have to wake up and put a razor to my face, and I think it is funny when people look at me twice when I present them my military ID. I have let my hair go longer than usual too, just to see how shaggy it can get.
Some may be asking what 36-2903 is....?
If you don't know what it is...
First, consider yourself lucky. Second, it is the regulation that I must follow for Dress and Appearance (how I wear my uniforms, hair cuts, shaving, etc.).

Just in case you want to take a look at it(i have no clue why you would want to) here is a link...36-2903 It's a lot to read and understand, but it's part of my life. Not a day goes by when I am at work and I don't find someone who isn't in total compliance with the regulation, and yes, I correct them as well.

Please don't misinterpret this. I love wearing my uniform. I am honored that I get to wear the uniform, but at the end of a brutal day at work, or during leave... I make sure it is out of sight and out of mind. If I have work the next day, I make sure my uniform is good to go, I make sure my hair is in compliance, and I prepare my face for the torture that is known as shaving. After being on leave for this long and growing this gnarly beard, shaving is like going trough the fields in Vietnam with a hatchet. Ladies, you have no clue how lucky you are.

Bella Donna... the vampire dog?

This month, Bella Donna turned 9 months and we finally got her spayed. She's still a hyper pup, but has become even more loving which I didn't think was possible. I love how labs are so affectionate. Bella will force her head under your hand, jump on the couch to sit right next to you, or follow you where ever you go.

Bella has a strange habit. We don't know of any other dog to do it except for a friend's dog, and he's a chocolate lab as well. Maybe showing it will be easier than trying to describe it.



She sucks on her favorite toys. The Jasmine pillow in the video is her newest toy (Genie got tired of Bella stealing it from her so she gave it to her) and her other one used to be a white, soft, fluffy dog. It's as if she licks it and chews it nonstop and then sucks on it after it has the right... taste? It's bizarre.

Anyone have a dog with a weird habit?

New direction...

For those that still follow this blog, you've noticed that there's been a hiatus. I started this public blog to keep family and friends up to date with what we've been doing but noticed that wasn't really possible since we didn't want to get too personal out in the open. So, after talking with the husband, we've decided to change directions.

New title, new blog address, new direction. A dual military couple trying to find that balance between our obligation and commitment to Uncle Sam and our devotion and love to our family. We didn't need another blog about what our family's been up to- I do that already in my private journal and we let our families know what's going on... even if it means posting it on Facebook. Yea, lame, I know. Can't help but rely on email and social networking sites since it's so accessible and easy.


That's all. No more posting single pictures from 365 projects or random one liners to "check in". Maybe this blog will actually be interesting now.

A moment of silence

Today, I had the honor of assisting our base Protocol office with a Fallen Hero ceremony. A hero returned to his home today...

If you haven't taken the time to see HBO's "Taking Chance", I recommend you find it on Netflix, HBO OnDemand, Bestbuy, etc. What happened today is related to that movie.

Myself along with four other Protocol augmentees served as crowd control although it wasn't needed. The Patriot Guard Riders were there which is always a site to see. Knowing that they were there to support the family puts me at ease because I understand why they do so much to honor the fallen. Thank goodness the stupid WBC wasn't around.

Army Capt John L. Hallett III is from Concord, CA. He was killed in a roadside bomb incident in Afghanistan on the 25th of August. Three other soldiers were killed with him. They were all stationed at Fort Lewis, WA.

The Lt from Protocol had warned us earlier this morning that it would be very emotional during the Fallen Hero ceremony. The casket would be removed from the aircraft and placed on the flight line for a few moments for the chaplain to say a prayer and the family to pay their respects. From there, it would be placed in the hearse before making the drive to Concord. What would make the ceremony emotional?

His family. Capt Hallett is survived by his wife, his two sons (4 and 2 years old), and his 2 week old daughter, whom he never had a chance to meet.

The site of his wife was what started the tears for me. A relative helped her out of her car in front of the flight line and I could see everything. I watched the four year old, almost white blond hair dressed in a long sleeved light blue button down shirt and khaki shorts, get out of the car and hold hands with a relative. Another relative helped the two year old out of the car, who looked so much like his older brother and even dressed like him too. Then the wife stepped out of the car and took her two week old daughter into her arms. Our base commander, Col Vechry, greeted her, and she started to cry. I think he asked her if she needed help because she said she was fine.

Watching her try and keep her composure was it for me. The next time was when the casket was placed into the hearse.

While watching everything that was going on, I felt proud of Capt Hallett for serving our country, fighting for what we hold dear, I was proud to be there to show my respect upon his return home- but seeing his wife grieve sent a wave of sorrow over me. I knew that there was/is nothing I could possible do or say to ease the pain and it made it harder to watch...



" A Soldier's Prayer...
The soldier stood and faced his God Which must always come to pass...
He hoped his shoes were shining Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?"
The soldier squared his shoulders and Said,"No, Lord, I guess I ain't...
Because those of us who carry guns Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent, Because the streets are awfully tough.
But, I never took a penny That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills got just too steep,
And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here...
They never wanted me around Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much, But if you don't, I'll understand."
There was a silence all around the throne Where the saints had often trod...
As the soldier waited quietly, For the judgment of his God,
"Step forward now you soldier,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

I didn't realize how much it would affect her...

Monday was the 1 week mark of Dan being gone. It was also the first time Genie showed how much she missed Dan.

When we were at the airport the morning he left on the 10th, she was so tired when we finally got through the security checkpoint that she didn't realize that he was leaving.




When they were finally boarding, she thought she could sleep on the plane.

"Genevieve, c'mon, daddy's leaving now you have to wake up."
"No, I am tired. I want to go to sleep."
"We have to say bye now."
"We can just sleep on the plane."
"Huh? We're not going on the plane."
"Why not? We'll fly back."

:/

She realized he was really gone the next day. Dan is usually the one that wakes her up in the morning for daycare and when he didn't, she said that she wanted him to come back. During the week when we'd take a shower or while we're getting ready for bed, she'd ask if I missed him and she would say she missed him too.

Monday after I picked her up from daycare, we were at a stoplight listening to music. She had just finished telling me about a story that happened today when she suddenly got quiet. I looked in the child mirror and she was in tears, balling.

"Baby bear! What's wrong?"
"I miss my daddy!"
"I know, baby bear, I do too!"
"I want my daddy. I want my papa bear!"

It broke my heart to see her like that.

Thusday on the way to the AMC hosted Travis Icon competition, I was practicing the song I was going to sing.

"Mommy, sing the song, OK? Practice."
"OK. *starts singing No One*"

I get to the second verse: When the rain is pourin down and my heart is hurtin'....

"I'm sad now."
"Why baby bear?"
"Because my heart is broken."
"Why? What happened??"
"I miss my daddy."

I never thought I'd hear her talk about a broken heart at this age. She started crying on the spot and it took so much to hold back my own tears.

This is already the toughest deployment to date.

I'm a mess.

I didn’t cry while we were at the airport gate. I didn’t cry while he was boarding the plane. I didn’t even cry while I was driving home.




I lost it while I was cleaning the bathroom and putting his stuff under the sink.